Nature as a Gateway to the Soul
As I walk through the Phoenix Park in Dublin, the biggest recreational park in Europe, home to many wild deer, long standing trees, and the Presidential home of the Irish President, I am struck by the solid oak tree, in front of me, its roots bedded deep in the ground, and spreading outwards. The trunk of the oak tree stands majestic in its unwavering ability to hold space, both in its place in the earth and in providing a home for the growth that extends beyond it, allowing its branches and ever-changing leaves to weave through the process of consistent change.
This solid trunk appears to be separate from the branches and leaves, as it gathers the nourishment it needs from the earth for miles around it to feed and support it in its entirety. However, without the groundedness and wisdom of the trunk of the oak tree, there would be no tree, no changing colours, no leaves shedding and withdrawing into winter, to prepare for renewed seasons, and most importantly, no falling acorn, which holds the seed for new oak trees, and new beginnings.
Each part of the tree has its own purpose, each purpose all intertwined with each other.
In watching the most beautiful documentary on Trees, based on the trees of Judy Dench, she explores the sounds within each tree, the life force, and the communication between one part of the tree to the other, while also identifying how each tree as a whole, can communicate to the trees around them.
This fascinated me as I reflected on the connection I have had over the years in my own healing to the oneness I have felt with nature and all that is around me. This Divine Intelligence has its own flow, its own rhythm, and beating heart, as do we.
If we look closely, we can see this in the changing seasons, in the synchronicity of the movement of hundreds of starlings that flow in sequence, as they murmurate across orange-painted sunset skies, appearing knowingly at approximately the same time each day.
We see the swallows return year after year, having flown from South Africa, across Europe, resting in familiar places, guided by their own internal navigation system and return back to South Africa, when they know intuitively through the temperatures and seasonal changes, it is time to leave.
These depictions are just a drop in the ocean of the vast intelligence that surrounds us. As a beloved fan of David Attenborough's work, I am in awe of how he illuminates some of the hidden gems that are all around us, hidden in this great mystery.
This is the same mystery that allows each of us to have our own unique fingerprint in the world. To allow a deep cut to heal.
Murmuration of starlings over Lough Ennell, Westmeath, Ireland. Photo: John McCauley
Next time you find yourself surrounded by trees, flowers, the ocean, birds or the sounds of animals nearby, perhaps take a moment to close your eyes.
What may surprise you is that you may see even more with your eyes closed as you begin to sense the energy, the pulse of the essence of all that surrounds you—the smells, the sounds. Allow your body to hold and take this in, as it is your body that all of your life moves through.
Notice how within your own body, you have the same unique ability to connect deeply within yourself, as you listen to your own heartbeat, and follow the movements of your breath.
Throughout difficult times in our lives, this is always available to us. That grounded earth beneath your feet, the breath within your body as a constant ally. The sunrise, followed by the sunset, and the moon cycles. Through Covid times, a time where people struggled with restrictions and a sense of isolation for many reasons, not least as it brought up feelings of internal isolation (from possibly as far back as childhood without realising it), what became our friend was the presence of nature in its consistent cycles, no matter what we were experiencing. In the silence of the world, I noticed how the birds seemed braver, as a mother robin dug into the soft summer ground for worms in my presence, and fed her babies as they stood at the edge of the pink flowered wisteria with open mouths, waiting to be fed.
Photo sourced from Unique Tours Ireland Ltd
Time stood still in the silence of our connection, as they offered me this private showcase of the love and healthy dependency between mother and babies. They trusted me in their presence, and I trusted myself in the experience of how I felt in what I was seeing.
We are not separate from all that surrounds us.
Throughout each day, through times of panic or overwhelm, depression or anxiety, these experiences occur in our bodies. Imagine if you considered your whole body to be as grounded as the trunk of the tree. Within that trunk is your nervous system, needing time and attention, surrounding it in calm settings and healthy environments. See each branch of the tree as each experience you have ever had, both joyous and difficult.
They are part of the tree, but not the whole tree.
Upon the branches of the tree are the golden, yellow, and brown leaves. See these as the symptoms, feelings and thoughts you experience through each event that has occurred in your life. These leaves will transform from one colour to another depending on the season, they will fall away, and grow anew.
At the heart of all healing is the process of grounding ourselves and keeping ourselves emotionally safe, through the impermanence and consistency of change, loss and transformation, repeated over and over. These are the cycles of our own lives, in rhythm with the cycles of nature.
Butterfly emerging from the chrysalis.
The Story of the Butterfly
When I came into the world many years ago, I was born weighing 1.5lb. Medicine was very different then, from how it has advanced through in-depth research and development. However, as I reflect on what I was told about the process of my incredible care, I cannot help but compare it again to the process of nature. My team was wise while also intelligent.
For six months, I was incubated in the warmth and safety of my glass cocoon, where over time, I became stronger as my lungs developed and my heart strengthened. My whole body was covered from head to toe in cotton wool to keep me warm, and my eyes were covered from the strong lights.
For a number of weeks, prior to going home, each day, a tiny piece of cotton wool was removed to prepare me for the elements beyond my incubator. Of course, I have no memory of this consciously; however, as our bodies remember everything, in each cell of our being, from birth. I am still drawn to quiet, still places, alone, where I feel at ease in my body.
This process that nurtured me into great health is, in its very essence, the story of the butterfly.
I have the privilege to witness with clients as they learn to embrace this process for themselves. It is my own personal story of healing and transformation, and is universal to all of us.
We must listen to the struggle, as it is always telling us something needs attending to. We must take our time, gather ourselves, and incubate in whatever form this may look like for us. It may be allocated time, daily or weekly, just to sit in silence. It may be time in nature. In contrast to having quiet time alone, reflection and self-connection can happen in the busiest of spaces, the most difficult of circumstances. Why? Because all awareness and awakening to what is occurs in the present moment.
This cocoon is not outside of yourself but is, in fact, that still place within you. You can feel most alive in yourself in nurturing spaces externally; however, it is in the moments of awareness internally, noticing how you are feeling in your body, mind, and heart, in relation to your environment and your experiences, that you are in union with all that is. The messy process of life, and the still waters.
I believe this is the process towards acceptance.
As with the caterpillar in the chrysalis, this is messy, difficult and takes time. But eventually, something becomes clear. We learn to trust and listen to that voice within, the voice of our soul. As we prepare to reemerge into a new way of living, we may be frightened and have an urge to return to the old ways. This is normal. However, as we explore deep into our heart, we notice that the ways in which we now see ourselves and the world around us is forever changed, because we have changed.
“It takes time to understand and adapt to the knowing that the life of the caterpillar is not the same life as the butterfly.”
We must tread gently, just like removing a tiny piece of cotton wool from a little cocooned baby, our nervous system must acclimatise to this change and growth. Similar to the process of the caterpillar in the chrysalis, where there is growth and transformation, through difficulty and messiness. Eventually, it becomes time for it to push through the shell. If this process is rushed or interrupted, if someone decides to free the butterfly prematurely, there will be no butterfly, or no wings.
As I say to my clients, we cannot sit in a dark room for many months and suddenly draw back the curtains, allowing the sun to shine through. It would overwhelm our nervous system, hurt our eyes, and prevent us from seeing clearly. You would not know how to hold such light. You must go slowly.
Similar to us, in our process of healing, we will struggle if we allow others to take our time, our space, or push our boundaries, before we have understood and learned how to hold our sense of self, and re-access our values. We may doubt ourselves, waver, or leave our own sense of knowing what is right for us. We may self-abandon, which in turn can create more shame and self-loathing, and so we may find ourselves returning over and over again, into the turbulence, reassessing, and re-evaluating what feels right for us. These cycles are normal. They are the cycles of peeling back the layers of cotton wool, so many layers, each with its own learning and time to adapt.
